Memos to: Alice Longbottom, Sirius Black, Fabian Prewett

[hemhemhemhemhem.livejournal.com]

Sirius,

Perhaps you are not used to this in the Auror Office, but in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures (Being Division) we are dedicated to an integrated approach incorporating full transparency. In pursuit of this goal I expect a report on the status of your canvass of the London werewolf population by the end of the work week along with a detailed account of any leads you may or may not have gleaned from such.

In addition, I have yet to receive an official incident report of the trouble you encountered on your unauthorized trip to Scotland. I hope I don't need to remind you that such reports are to be handed in no later than two weeks after the incident in question.

Finally, I am requesting that you and the other Aurors on loan to the DRCMC(BD) begin keeping a daily log of your activities in increments of one-half hour so that we can ensure full transparency and that your talents are being efficiently utilized.

Please give my regards to Remus Lupin.

Sincerely,
Dolores Jean Umbridge
Head of the Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, Being Division

---

Dear Alice,

Perhaps you are not used to this in the Auror Office, but in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures (Being Division) we are dedicated to an integrated approach incorporating full transparency. In pursuit of this goal I expect a report on the status of your interviews with witnesses of the Dementor attacks by the end of the work week along with a detailed account of any leads you may or may not have gleaned from such.

In addition, I have yet to receive an official incident report of the trouble you encountered on your unauthorized trip to Scotland. I hope I don't need to remind you that such reports are to be handed in no later than two weeks after the incident in question.

Finally, I am requesting that you and the other Aurors on loan to the DRCMC(BD) begin keeping a daily log of your activities in increments of one-half hour so that we can ensure full transparency and that your talents are being efficiently utilized.

Sincerely,
Dolores Jean Umbridge
Head of the Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, Being Division

---

Fabian,

I hope that you are in the process of making a full recovery and that this leave has been a restful one for you.

I look forward to receiving your official incident report of the trouble you encountered in Scotland. As the injured Auror in question you are entitled to a meeting with me to discuss the regrettable incident. Once you have returned to work, feel free to drop by my office any time, or to schedule a meeting when you are quite sure that you are fully up to it.

Of course, I also expect a report on your investigations in Scotland and what leads you may or may not have gleaned there. Be sure to take your time.

Finally, I am requesting that you and the other Aurors on loan to the DRCMC(BD) begin keeping a daily log of your activities in increments of one-half hour so that we can ensure full transparency and that your talents are being efficiently utilized. This would obviously have to wait until you are back with us at the DRMC(BD)--which will be soon, I hope.

Wishing you a speedy recovery,
Dolores Jean Umbridge
Head of the Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, Being Division

Comments

[treefeller.livejournal.com]

I'm not wasting my gorgeous penmanship on something that'll end up in the bin. Best save all that for the Howler and keep the letter in Umbridge-fucking-ese, yeah?

[rathercareless.livejournal.com]

No, that's exactly the problem, no one ever stands up to her! I've about had it being pushed around by that bitch, she's got this coming, and she's lucky it's just words on a fucking page!

[treefeller.livejournal.com]

Fabian, if you say all that she'll light up like a Christmas tree because she can use it against you. Which she will promptly do. And it certainly won't sink in any more than speaking her language would.

[rathercareless.livejournal.com]

I don't care! I can handle the job being dangerous, I knew what I was signing up for when we started all this, but this, Gid? This is gross negligence and mismanagement, and she is going to get us killed. I'm not dying for her political agendas. I'm not.

[treefeller.livejournal.com]

*Fabian is right. But what he's saying is also irrelevant, and writing Dolores Umbridge a passionate hate letter will accomplish one thing and one thing only and that is career suicide. Gideon sighs and runs his hands through his hair, leaving behind a slight smear of ink on his temple.*

Do you want my advice, Fabian? Don't send her hate-mail and get fired for it. Owl her something blank and nondescript that reflects well on you, as it'll go into the file. And then you meet with her in her office armed with precedents and evidence and you fuck her with a rake.

Figuratively speaking.

[rathercareless.livejournal.com]

*The only reason Fabian doesn't lash out again verbally at that is that he knows, with the odd non-verbal understanding of twins, that Gideon is every bit as angry as he is. That he's still his closest ally even if he's not going to write the letter Fabian wants. He stares at his brother for a long moment and lets this sink in, his agitation easing into tense exhaustion, and then it's another moment before the words themselves sink in. When they do he nods stiffly, flopping into the nearest chair and rubbing at his face with his left hand.*

Okay. You're right.

[treefeller.livejournal.com]

*Gideon sighs and spreads his hands, a peace offering. He knows how hard it is to swallow, and he also knows better than to immediately start pulling teeth to get Fabian to compose something nice.*

If you want I will write the other thing too and we can put it on the fridge?

[rathercareless.livejournal.com]

*He nods again, but tiredly, the fight somewhat gone out of him. He's worn out, his arms hurt, and there's nothing of his usual buoyancy in him right now.*

Sure. Knock yourself out.

[treefeller.livejournal.com]

I could just throw something together, if you like.

Thank you for the well-wishes understood about the reports I look forward to seeing you in the office soon also go fuck yourself with a rake?

[rathercareless.livejournal.com]

*It's enough to draw a faint smile as Fabian peeks out from under the hand covering his eyes.*

If you'd be a dear. Especially that last bit.

[treefeller.livejournal.com]

I shall be sure to underline.

Perhaps twice.

[rathercareless.livejournal.com]

You know I'm not overreacting, though, yeah? Really? I don't trust her.

[treefeller.livejournal.com]

Yes, and you're right not to. She's dangerous. Don't go handing her weapons.

[rathercareless.livejournal.com]

Good, so we're clear I'm not the crazy one, between me and her. Excellent.

[treefeller.livejournal.com]

Oh, you are certainly the crazy one. It's that she is the dangerous incompetent evil one.