People unaware they're bleeding, no one with a brain is believing

[mad-actually.livejournal.com]

*Her toes look terrifically useless, Barty realizes. They're shorter than his own, less elegant. He can't help but think if Lily lost her arms her back-up prospects were dim. His wouldn't be dim, his toes are much better - much more dexterous. If only there was some way his toes could be on her body. Then he'd be strong and imbued with multi-purpose appendages. The possibilities would be endless.

Of course, none of this is about his Frankenstein-like toe fantasies, training feet to act like hands is not a hefty enough endeavour to distract from his real purpose. With Regulus mysteriously absent, there had been no detour. No one else he's on friendly enough speaking terms with. He wouldn't precisely call Damien a friend, well perhaps he would, if there was some sort of friend-counting contest and he wanted to have more then one name to list. But still here he is, perched on his bed, a leg out, grasping around for a quill on Mulciber's desk. The room is ideal for his training, but perhaps not quite as ideal in its security. Even in his scandalous attire and a much more scandalous body it had been easy to talk himself into the manor. Looking purposeful and talking loudly possibly the most valuable skill anyone can possess.*

Comments

[whysosadistic.livejournal.com]

*The day had been uneventful for the most part. His cat scratched him, his father offhandedly mentioned an attack in Essex, his mother invited an old friend over for tea and compulsory bragging of Mulciber's intellect and nerve. Mrs. Mullens was her name, and he's rather certain he hexed her daughter back in third year for snickering when his voice cracked in Herbology.

Yes, mundane and perhaps disappointing. But after some light reading downstairs, Mulciber made his way up to his bedroom, ready to turn in for the night.

If there is one thing to know about Mulciber it is this: He hates surprises, he hates the unexpected. He especially hates surprises in the form of half dressed Mudbloods by the name of Lily fucking Evans—or rather, Potter— sitting on his bed.

His heart thuds in his chest and he immediately draws his wand before closing the door. He can safely say that he's never been so stunned in his life.*

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU—

[mad-actually.livejournal.com]

*Barty stops trying to pick up the quill with Lily's toes, throwing up her legs instead and rolling across the bed to face Mulciber. Her face is nearly broken in two by a wide, careless grin.*

Finally. I thought you'd never come upstairs.

[whysosadistic.livejournal.com]

*Mulciber makes a frenzied mental note to throw out that quill after this—whatever the fuck this is—is through.

He doesn't get it. He doesn't fucking get it. He doesn't understand the scene in front of him at all. Why is Lily Potter rolling on his bed? And where the hell are her clothes?

Wand still trained on her, Mulciber shakily closes the door behind him.*

HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET IN HERE? THIS IS FUCKING...FUCKING BREAKING AND ENTERING! I'M NOT AFRAID TO—

[mad-actually.livejournal.com]

*Lily's eyes widen as far as they can go - not in alarm, but in an almost cordial fashion that feels oddly...familiar.*

You LOOK afraid.

[whysosadistic.livejournal.com]

*Without a beat, Mulciber sends a powerful stinging hex in "Lily's" direction.*

ANSWER!

[mad-actually.livejournal.com]

*Barty ducks out of the way easily, causing the hex to leave a mark in Mulciber's sheets instead. He laughs in the process, hyaena-like and openly recognizable.*

Snape was hex-happy today too, you know.

[whysosadistic.livejournal.com]

*That fucking laugh. What?*

What?

[mad-actually.livejournal.com]

"What" was also something he said a lot. I see why you're friends now. You have a lot in common.

[whysosadistic.livejournal.com]

...Y-you...that...Barty?

*His wand is still aimed straight at her, but slowly things are beginning to make...not quite make sense but he begins to find it not too hard to believe that Barty is in this Mudblood's body. The freak.*

[mad-actually.livejournal.com]

*Barty's grin widens and he sits up in attention.*

At your service - only not. I don't want to service you. That would be weird.

[whysosadistic.livejournal.com]

*Suddenly, this whole charade is fucking hilarious. Barty, wearing whatever the fuck that is in Lily Evans' skin. He starts laughing, still a bit incredulous, and asks a question that is far from apropos.*

You've got tits and a cunt. Fucking hell. And what the hell are you wearing?

[mad-actually.livejournal.com]

Large tits. I've examined. AND I'M WEARING LOVELY THINGS. I'M A PROPER LADY. Snape was so pleased. A little too pleased. Don't you want to know how pleased he was?

[whysosadistic.livejournal.com]

What? You saw Snape? Looking like that?

[mad-actually.livejournal.com]

OF COURSE. Snape's presence was essential to my plan.

*Barty pauses, his eyes widening, his expression suddenly much more intense, much more concentrated.*

Ask me what I learned. Ask me what he told me.

[whysosadistic.livejournal.com]

*It's still strange, because although he knows he's talking to Barty, his eyes can't help but flicker at Lily's very exposed chest and legs. But he can't even look for long without feeling as if he might as well be eying Barty's bits. He shakes his head, tries to ignore the fact that he's staring into the face of a woman he despises, and carries on.*

What happened then? Let me guess, he spunked his pants and it was a right laugh.

[mad-actually.livejournal.com]

There was a lot of that too. He was very attentive. Every bit. And I DID laugh.

Mostly though, he's a traitor to the Dark Lord. And a cannibal, but that's not as important.

[whysosadistic.livejournal.com]

*Mulciber laughs again, so amused by Snape's obvious reaction to seeing "Lily" showing up in his flat in such a state. He doesn't even acknowledge Barty's last words.*

Did you go round there for fun? You properly seduced him? Ha!

[mad-actually.livejournal.com]

I'm not the first. He was expecting me - well, Evans. He's passing information. He's the one who told the Order about the ICW.

[whysosadistic.livejournal.com]

You've said this before, Barty. It's still a load of shit. Why the hell would he give that bitch information? He wants to fuck her, not tell her his secrets.

[mad-actually.livejournal.com]

*The truth is so simple, Barty is honestly surprised he has to point it out at all.*

Of course he would. He loves her. The secrets are the only way he can make her stay long enough.

[whysosadistic.livejournal.com]

*Mulciber's face relaxes into its typical cold gaze, complete with down-turned lips and wrinkled nose.*

What the fuck do you know about him loving that Mudblood? You're talking out of your arse.

And when is that bloody potion going to wear off?

[mad-actually.livejournal.com]

*Lily's hair falls forward and her face crumples with Barty's disappointment. This hasn't gone at all like he'd planned it to.*

BUT HE CONFESSED! I was straddling him and he confessed.

[whysosadistic.livejournal.com]

*He snorts, the image beyond hilarious.*

And what exactly did he confess? His undying love for Mudblood Evans?

[mad-actually.livejournal.com]

His penis confessed THAT part, it was his mouth that asked if Evans only wanted him because he'd told her things.

[whysosadistic.livejournal.com]

*Mulciber shakes his head. Unlike a majority of humans, Mulciber is not one to really lose patience with Barty too ealily (unless he smashes his bottles of firewhiskey).*

You probably misunderstood—

[mad-actually.livejournal.com]

THERE'S NOTHING TO MISUNDERSTAND. He thought it was enough for a ride on the fanny-express. There aren't a lot of things Snape can say that would lead to that conclusion.

[whysosadistic.livejournal.com]

*He's growing impatient now, eyes narrowing more and more with every word that tumbles out of Barty's mouth.*

Severus isn't stupid. If the Dark Lord even suspected for a fucking second that Severus was passing information to Mudbloods like her, he'd...he'd...well he probably be killed. He's not a traitor to the cause, why are you so keen to make him one?

[mad-actually.livejournal.com]

The Dark Lord can't see everyone. He can't see everything. As his followers, exposing treachery is the truly loyal thing to do.

[whysosadistic.livejournal.com]

And unless you fancy making an arse out of yourself in front of the Dark Lord, I suggest you have more proof than a fucking assumption.

*He's trying not to seem bothered. It's far easier to reduce this conversation to baseless accusations and Barty's typical weirdness. But there is something deep in the recesses of his consciousness that doesn't want to throw out Barty's barmy ramblings just yet. It wants to hold onto it for a bit, like a patron of a restaurant making a noise of protest before a waiter removes their plate. His mind is "still working on it" and wants to continue to nibble on insignificant bits of food left on this figurative plate.*

Seriously, when does that potion quit? This is just weird. What the hell possessed you to go over there anyway, looking like that?

[mad-actually.livejournal.com]

*Barty smiles a deliberately Lily-like smile. He knows the Dark Lord respects his opinion. He knows he's favoured far beyond any of the others. He leaves this unspoken, like a smug younger brother secure in his treasured position.*

In thirty-three minutes. And I would have thought that was obvious after what he said at your parties. You don't think I'd let him get away with it, do you?